We are so hard on ourselves. We judge, we compare, we criticise, we put pressure, set unreasonable expectations and always think we’re not enough. We’re conditioned to always be dissatisfied with ourselves, to keep pushing, to do, achieve, climb higher. This is the behaviour that we’re taught to aspire to and to value.
And this is exactly the pattern that keeps us from achieving what we desire, from breaking out from our current reality and becoming the person we want to be, living the life we imagine is possible.
Why? Because when you keep beating yourself up for perceived mistakes, or feeling guilty, or judging where you are as not far enough, not fast enough, not good enough, you’re not being kind to yourself. And this brings your vibration so far down that anything else you’re doing simply won’t have the right, high energy.
When you’re in this kind of low-vibration space, self-love is often too much of a jump. It becomes just one more thing to feel bad about not doing well enough.
And that’s obviously not helping you feel better.
So, when self-love feels like too much of a stretch, practice self-kindness instead.
When your day doesn’t go as planned, be kind to yourself.
When you make what you think is a mistake, be kind to yourself.
When you think you’re not working hard enough, be kind to yourself.
When you feel like you don’t have any time for anything, be kind to yourself.
Make self-kindness your mantra and it will become a habit, your new way of being.
Which will raise your vibration, calm down your energy and, quite simply, feel better.
(as a reminder, anything to do with raising your vibration has feeling better at its core… your priority has to be feeling good, every single day, that’s when you stop resisting what is and start allowing what could be)
How do you start?
Stop regularly and ask yourself what you need. Then give it to yourself, no matter what it is. Do you need some fresh air? Take a break and go for a walk. Do you need space? Let the to-do list slide for a day. Do you need quiet? Make sure you get it.
My favourite way to remember self-kindness is to add ‘act of self-kindness’ to your daily to do list. That way it’s always there, reminding you to pay attention to your needs, to treat yourself the way you’d treat your loved ones.
And then, once self-kindness becomes habit, it’s much easier to jump into self-love. It almost comes naturally, because you can see who you are more clearly once the self-deprecating inner dialogue stops.
Be kind to yourself, it’s the #soulsmart thing to do!